Over the years I've thought of a conversation I had with my former supervisor when I told her I was pregnant and considering a return to work after giving birth. She warned me not to expect special treatment if I came back. In other words, they would expect the same of me after I became a mother as they did before. "Good" I told her. If I was in her employ, I would continue to do the same high quality work I had done before becoming a mother.

I was a bit disturbed by that conversation. I didn't expect special treatment, but I was taken aback when I thought about how my employer might react to an occasional crisis. While I do think employees should be family friendly, allowing both working mothers and fathers occasional time off to tend to their children's needs, I believe that when one is at work, he or she should give that his or or her full attention.

Apparently not everyone thinks this way. Yesterday, a teacher friend of mine and I were talking about how some teachers do a stupendous job while others do the bare minimum. She attributed some of the disparity to a difference between the genders of the teachers. Female teachers, she explained, often have families to care for while male teachers have wives at home to care for their kids. Therefore we shouldn't expect female teachers to do as much as male teachers. For example a male teacher might stay late to help a child, while a female teacher can't. And don't even think of a female teacher helping a child during lunch hour because that's when she has to do her paperwork. After all, she can't bring it home. So, in other words, she was advising me to lower my expectations for female teachers.

As someone who has always felt that men and women should be treated the same by their employers, I was astounded by this. Sure it's true that many women shoulder the bulk of family responsibilities in spite of also holding down important jobs, but I think that is something that needs to be settled between a husband and wife not between an employer and employee or a teacher and the parent of a student. Employers, I feel, should be flexible as long as employers do their jobs well, but this doesn't include lowering standards. If we make excuses for working mothers, can others then argue that women should not be paid as much as men or be eligible for the same promotions because they can't be expected to do as much? I find that very upsetting.

Resources for Working Moms:

• Returning to Work
• Time Management Tips