My goals for the year revolve around taking my new position and the program I run and building a department out of what is currently a one-woman operation, learning to balance work with family, and squeezing in a social life. (I know. I am insanely optimistic. What's a social life?) Specifically, my New Year's Resolutions are to increase awareness about my program within my company, to communicate more effectively with program participants, and to shift into a higher gear as an employee. That last one is the most important.

That was me back in December. I am still insanely optimistic. I am also feeling good about what I have been able to accomplish in three months. My one-woman operation is about to change. I will have some help with administrative tasks soon. I have been able to increase awareness about my program and achieve buy-in from top managers that it is high priority. I have worked hard to communicate more effectively. I am getting mixed feedback on that point, but I am better at it than I was! I will continue to improve. I have definitely shifted into a higher gear as an employee.

A few weeks ago, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hit my goals for the year. Now I realize I have not only reached some marks, I have already gone past them. I am a happy girl.

I have really enjoyed writing this blog. Because I use Dawn's site so frequently as research, I have been delighted to associate myself with it in this small way. I will miss updating you on my latest foibles.

I am feeling sentimental and a little sad to say goodbye, but I want to leave you with a thought that helps me. I like this quotation, "Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it." It is very good advice. Whatever your desires or goals, write them down and be very specific. Then work backwards to determine the steps it will take to hit the mark. Write out your plan for success clearly enough that anyone could pick up the instructions and follow them. Then you follow them.

It is cliché, but the way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. I truly believe that we can accomplish anything we set out to do, so long as we don't quit. If you come up against obstacles, find a way around. I took me ten years to get this job, but I have never stopped working toward it. Now here I am. My reality is better than any fantasy I ever had.

Thank you for reading. I wish you all the best.

Most sincerely,

Elese Morris

Today my son is seven months old. When I started writing this blog, one of my resolutions was to learn to balance my new family with my career. I think I've done a pretty good job with that. My husband and I have worked out our schedules so that our son is in daycare the least amount of time possible. I see him at least three times a week on my lunch hour. We spend concentrated time with him in the evenings and when we get up with him in the morning.

Thinking back to how hard it was to drop my baby at daycare that first morning, I am really proud of what my husband and I have accomplished. I am also very proud of our son, who adapted very well, and who is thriving in spite of all the germs and older babies trying to sit on him.

Finding the DIY kitchen was a huge stepping off point for me. Being able to fix my meals ahead of time (with someone else to clean up my mess!) has been such a help. I have been able to enjoy my family and my evenings much more than before, and I feel really good about myself and my ability to feed us. That's been good for the diet, too!

I've laughed about my social life. Before I got married I was out several nights a week with friends, traveled constantly and had a fairly robust calendar. Settling into marriage, I preferred my husband's company to going out, so we only met up with friends a few times a month. Once the baby came it was a different world entirely. Now we're doing well if we see people once a quarter. We're working it out, though, and getting in visits as often as we can.

All of that means that I have accomplished at least half of my New Year's goals. I'll talk about the rest of them on Friday.

~Elese Morris

I drove through a fast food place to grab coffee this morning. Talking into the little box, I said, "One small coffee, please. That's all." And I was greeted with, "Light, Mild, Dark or Decaf?" I just sat there for a few seconds before answering, "Uh...regular?"

Now I love Starbucks as much as the next java-addict, but even I, a veteran of big box retail where copycat marketing is a culture, was shocked to find that the Starbucks mentality had permeated the fast food business. They even asked me if I wanted short, tall or grande. It was barista-speak coming out of a burger box drive up! I think this struck me as extra funny because I realized yesterday that the HR culture has so permeated my mentality that I have begun using HR-speak in everyday life.

Up until my review, I had been striving to replace my Operations mentality with an HR mentality. I was focused on using the right words and phrases. For instance, rather than saying someone has developmental needs, saying that someone has opportunities. I actually used that in a conversation with a friend yesterday--and that wasn't the first time! I guess HR has rubbed off on me more than I knew.

Alternately, I have rubbed off on HR. More than one of my coworkers have picked up pieces of my slang and intonation. That's really funny to hear.

~Elese Morris

Seeing people outside of work is always strange. It's like seeing your teacher outside of school. I was in Target last night and ran into a guy who had been in one of my training classes. We waved, then he brought his wife over to meet me. Bless her. Her whole demeanor said, "Why are you forcing me to meet this woman, who is obviously deranged. You can tell by the way she is transferring all of her items for purchase from one buggy into another. Also, I have on no makeup and have not fixed my hair, therefore I do not want to meet anyone you might know professionally."

I felt her completely. My job forces me to be extraverted and very friendly. In nature, while I do tend to smile at people I pass, I would not normally just engage people in conversation. I would rather just make a friendly face and keep going. Things to do. Places to go. No time for small talk. Sometimes, even when I see people I know, I would rather pretend I haven't seen them. (This can be awkward when standing in line for a movie together, but if you and the other party are diligent about it, you can make it through fifteen minutes of rotating your body just out of line of direct vision. Not that I have ever stood in line for a movie with someone who was once a close friend, each of us pretending the other was a complete stranger or anything.)

When I saw my coworker last night, it would have been easy to pretend I hadn't seen him, but I was certain he had seen me. All my choices flashed before me, but ultimately, I gave the big wave and hello because my job is very public and I do need to be friendly, if only for the reputation of my department. He is a very nice guy, anyway, so it didn't hurt to stand and chat. I'm just glad I didn't have anything embarrassing in my basket.

I did have my baby's latest prescription. He either has bronchitis or asthma. We're hoping for the former (if my cough, and my husband's cough are any indication, it is bronchitis). Until his follow-up doctor's appointment he gets two breathing treatments a day, plus an explosive diaper inducing antibiotic. We are fortunate. He is an amazingly good, beautiful baby and he has a terrific pediatrician. --And we've been able to manage our work schedules so that neither of us has to miss work to take him to the doctor anymore.

~Elese Morris

Monday snuck up on me this week. It seems like I got home on Friday and then BOOM weekend over. The rest of my company appears to have started working on Sunday, from the size of my in-box.

When I started writing this blog, I had been in my position for just under three months after having worked toward it for several years. I was still solidly in the honeymoon period. Honeymoon periods can last anywhere from three to six months, and I think mine lasted for four. It was just last month that the realities of my position started to hit home. The warts of the job have started to show and some of the gilt has worn off, but ultimately, I'm still in love with it. I think I may actually have a lasting relationship with this line of work.

The romance is gone, though, that's for sure! I laugh as I type that, hearing, "The thrill is gone, baby," in my mind as I do. And yes, the thrill is gone, but that's when the real relationship starts because you can't really love something until you know the good and the bad. This is me waxing philosophic. It must be Monday.

~Elese Morris

I put my newfound knowledge to work today and spent nearly my entire eight hours building and refining databases. You know what? I really enjoyed it! Now that I know what I am doing, it is a lot more fun. I found myself thinking about the databases and how to work them as I walked down the hall to get coffee, drove to lunch, and even while I was sitting on a conference call. I have found a new love, and its name is Access.

I was ready to go home when the metaphorical buzzer rang, though. In and amongst the database building, there were several fires to put out today, so I was happy when I could shut down my computer and escape. Apparently, I think escaping means coming home and starting up another computer.

Greetings from Access Training! I am pleased to report that I have not asked any ridiculous questions this time, but have actually been a productive member of the class. By productive I mean, I have asked good questions that have led to conversation, and I have been able to help out the guy sitting next to me.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, all sorts of things are happening that I am trying to manage by e-mail and telephone. So far, so good. Also on the "so good" side, we are adding a team member to our department! Half of her job will be helping me with the administrative side of my program. Yes! I think that absolutely counts toward my New Year's Resolutions.

At home, my family is finally all healthy at the same time. I think part of that has to do with us all having an earlier bedtime. Amazing what an extra hour of sleep will do for a body. I've kind of given up on having a social life at this point. We're doing very well if we see our parents more than once a month, much less our friends. However, we do have a grown-up playdate this weekend, and we managed outings for the baby to see his grandparents three times in February, so I am feeling successful.

Success has such a different meaning for me now. When I was twenty, success meant my name on a brass plaque outside the huge wooden doors of my corner office in a skyscraper building. When I was twenty-five, success meant having a certain title and pay grade. At thirty, success meant being happy with myself as a person and having a good paying job. At thirty-five success means that my family is healthy and happy, my work is getting done on time and in excellence, and I can buy a new pair of cute shoes now and then. By the time I am forty, I'll probably just feel successful if I am getting out of bed in the morning!

No, I'm too ambitious for that, but I do like that the older I get, the more organic my sense of what makes me successful grows.

~Elese Morris

I realized today that I only have eight more days of blogging to do, and I wondered over that. I thought, when I started this blog, that I would be able to write a clean narrative, going step by step as I accomplished all of my goals and came up with new ones. Instead, I have written a somewhat disjointed, but very honest account of my struggles to keep up with my new job. I want to have a tidy bow to tie onto my last post, but I don't forsee that happening.

Maybe I should start a faux blog. "Gentle Readers, today I convinced every VP in the company that they should make my program a main focus for 2007. I was promoted to Queen of the Corporation, was given a corner office with its own temperature gauge, and was feted at a wonderful luncheon. I was also told that all my lunches would be free from now on. Oh, and my nearly seven-month-old son is walking, talking and has landed a deal with the Atlanta Braves to be the youngest pitcher in the leauge, while my husband has been named King of Texas and we are moving into a house that was too expensive for Bill Gates to buy."

Nah. The truth may not be as spectacular, but I am having a lot of fun living it. The last two and a half months have not gone according to my plan, but I have never dreaded a day of it. (Save for the review, and I did dread that, but it turned out okay!)

Maybe that's my bow? The resolutions are important because they give you a target to shoot for, but enjoying yourself on the range is what makes life worth living. I'm still going for the goals and I have not made provision for failure, but I am going to be sure I have fun along the way.

~Elese Morris

When you are scheduling interviews for 50 people, unless you are very, very organized, you might make a mistake. Like scheduling an interview and forgetting to confirm it with the interviewee. That's a big mistake. Not that I would ever make a mistake like that.

I have been attacked by paperwork. I did not know there was so much paper in our office. I am hopeful that the growth of my program will bring growth to my department and I can add an administrator to my mix. I actually need help.

This is something else new to me. I am not used to needing help. I am used to being able to get everything done in a neat, tidy six hour day, then spend a couple of hours trying to drum up business. Now I am on continual go and haven't gotten comfortably ahead yet. It's a revolving door that surprises me on every go around. I just finish an item and then, ack! I have it to do again. It never goes away!

~Elese Morris

It's Monday again. I have another round of Access training coming up this week. I am wondering if I will get the same teacher. I know I am not looking forward to fighting the traffic to get downtown to the class. I am spoiled to my current six minute commute.

So let's see what I've done so far today. I have put together a training course, tried to revamp a database, and have sorted out all of my program participants based on where they live and where they are willing to move. We're having a big meeting tomorrow to see if some of those people might be ready to promote. Happily, two of my picks of the litter were promoted this week. I am very proud!

In the meantime, I am still trying to arrange interviews between my participants and our hiring managers. It is very difficult to coordinate 50 different schedules, but I will prevail. Eventually.

~Elese Morris